I wake up. The phone is ringing. I look around - its is bright and the day has begun. I try to guess the time. The sun is coming in through the blowing curtains of the window beside my bed. It is about nine o'clock I guess. The mobile is still ringing. I pick it up. A friend of mine has called. Regarding some technical stuff of some installation of some software. Duhh! I give the instructions in a sleepy way. They always remember me in such needs. Satisfied with what I said, he hung up.
I fidget in the bed a little. I curse the sun disturbing my sleep. I draw up the curtains properly. And I go back to sleep.
The phone is ringing again. I am again disturbed. And this time, it is the landline phone. Sister comes in and picks it up. Its for her. I curse the day. I go to sleep. I relapse in a half-wake slumber.
Its hot. My sleep breaks again. The hot winds are coming in through the windows. This time, my sleep has slipped of naturally, not due to some interruptions. I know I must pull my lazy ass out of bed. But I still keep lying. I'm extremely lethargic. Lazy. Sulking away in the bed.
I fidget. I'm not comfortable. The mind is not at peace. It wanders lazily. Some words - from the Gayatri Mantra - somehow comes in from nowhere. What was it they said? "Tath savitur varenyam"? A vague uneasiness encompasses me - some vague recollections of feelings I had while I had watched the sun rising with those lines running through my mind. Something larger than life, powerful, magnanimous. While I had felt the sun running through my veins.
I get up. What is the nature of the feeling I'm having then? Remorse?
You should be happy that you see sun in the mornings :)
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